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Woe be the dog days of February

February 24th, 2012 at 07:02 am
Dear Lord, I feel as though I must scream and Thou must scream, and we all must scream for ice cream, for the days are heating up, and even though it is still February and,...
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    No eye-rolling allowed
    Question: When an elementary school crossing guard gives you the “slow down” signal for driving 25 miles per...
    by at March 7th, 2011 at 07:03 pm
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    A case of mistaken identity
    I support law and order. Where would we be without it? If you look suspicious, anything from wearing your ballcap...
    by at March 6th, 2011 at 09:03 pm
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    A view with no room
    I went to a high school basketball game this week to see the best female player in the state. It’s the playoffs,...
    by at March 5th, 2011 at 07:03 am

DoinkNews»

Kidnapping leaves sour taste in coworker’s mouth

March 1st, 2012 at 10:03 am
John Grunfeld was released unharmed by coworker Aaron Pletsky after Pletsky kidnapped and force-fed Grunfeld food he never tried before, yet claimed to dislike. Pletsky told...

DoinkSports»

Visser to get touch-up prior to Final Four

March 25th, 2012 at 08:03 am
The grand opening for Lesley Visser’s Discount Plastic Surgery World has been postponed, according to company officials who say Visser wants the facility to herself for...

DoinkWorld»

When the chips are down, watch out

February 28th, 2011 at 07:02 am
I was the first guy in Target this morning and hustled straight to the snack aisle, like they were giving away gold bars. Chips were on sale and I love chips. I have a four-bag-a-day...

Recent Articles

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    Visser to get touch-up prior to Final Four
    The grand opening for Lesley Visser’s Discount Plastic Surgery World has been postponed, according to company officials who say Visser wants the facility to herself for one more round of facial disfigurement prior to the Final Four. Work is expected to last three days...
    by at March 25th, 2012 at 08:03 am
  • 0
    Kidnapping leaves sour taste in coworker’s mouth
    John Grunfeld was released unharmed by coworker Aaron Pletsky after Pletsky kidnapped and force-fed Grunfeld food he never tried before, yet claimed to dislike. Pletsky told police he got tired of Grunfeld saying “I’d never eat that” about food Pletsky enjoyed. The...
    by at March 1st, 2012 at 10:03 am
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    Woe be the dog days of February
    Dear Lord, I feel as though I must scream and Thou must scream, and we all must scream for ice cream, for the days are heating up, and even though it is still February and, technically, the heart of winter, it is clear Al Gore was right about global warming. I am parched...
    by at February 24th, 2012 at 07:02 am
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    Teacher finds what makes student tick
    Jason Bechtel’s parents took him to dinner Friday night to celebrate his best report card in five semesters when his grade point average rose to an F-plus. “I’m starting to take high school seriously,” the junior at Maine North High School said. Jason’s parents...
    by at February 5th, 2012 at 10:02 am
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    Court bans man from driving
    A British court banned a man from driving for a year after he was caught traveling with four children in the trunk of his car, although the man said he took safety measures by using nylon stretch cords to harness the kids and keep them from rolling around. Zoltan Lakatos...
    by at January 29th, 2012 at 07:01 am
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    Hoboken trash collector ranked No. 1
    Hoboken’s Ergan Meistok turned the trash collecting world on its head Wednesday when he rose to No. 1 in the World Garbage Federation weekly power rankings. Meistok recently unveiled his new technique – a discus-throwing style — that WGF officials initially mocked...
    by at January 26th, 2012 at 06:01 am
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    No eye-rolling allowed
    Question: When an elementary school crossing guard gives you the “slow down” signal for driving 25 miles per hour in a 15 mph zone, are you within your rights to roll your eyes at her as you pass by without hitting the brake? Isn’t eye-rolling protected by the Constitution...
    by at March 7th, 2011 at 07:03 pm
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